Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Topless Robot T-Shirt, Oh yeah!

I don't usually win things. I mean, I have won ribbons and awards for showing horses and some elementary school activities but I don't usually win contests. I have occasionally won raffles prizes, but when it comes to selecting something I submitted, not so much.

However, I finally have won something, and it was an momentous occasion for me. I didn't even think I was going to win anything, but maybe get an honourable mention.

I try to enter most of the Topless Robot contests on Fridays. I've probably entered every contest since I started reading the website. Sometimes I don't because I can't really relate to the contest but I do try and put an effort in. The prize is a shrit with the Topless Robot logo on it. I know it doesn't mean much to the general population, but to readers of the site, and lovers of all nerd things, it is a coveted piece.

One particular Friday, TR had a contest on 80s cartoon haikus. You could enter as many times as you wanted. There was a challenge though; TR had never broke 1000 comments before. If we made it to 1000 comments, extra shirts would be awarded. At this time I had started contributing to the comments at SOHB. I had already been a reader there, but now the blog was booming with activity. It was decided by those who frequented both SOHB and TR that we would try and help the goal of 1000 comments. The contest lasts Friday night until Monday at 12 AM. All weekend we submitted our own haikus, and any comments we had about submitted haikus were done in haiku style. By Saturday we had rolled the comments over to 1000. It was then decided we could probably double it by the deadline. One commenter said he had about 300 haikus to add, so if we got up to 1700 we'd be set. By Sunday night, approximately an hour or two from midnight, we had made 2100 post.

I spent a good deal of my time contributing real haikus and haikus about the contest. Here's the original post and its comments. It took almost a week to get the results in. This is what TR editor Rob Bricken had to say:

Let's start with who the winners aren't: Not me. Not me.

Yes, I asked for you Topless Roboteers to see if you could manage to get to 1,000 comments (not entries, necessarily, but comments). And yes, you all were cool enough to do that. But then... then you kept going. And going, and going, and going, and holy shit there were 2100 comments in last weekend's TR contest.

And many entries contained more than one haiku (one entry in particular had 250, but we'll get to that), of course. Sure, not every comment contained a haiku or limerick about '80s cartoons, almost all of them were written in haiku anyways. People were having whole conversations -- about the contest, about Smurf sex, about the power of breasts, about anything -- in haiku. It was truly amazing... and totally awful, since I had to read them all.

After trying to ignore the contest all day Tuesday with booze, I finally finished judging the results at about 1:30 am last night. As promised, there will be extra shirts awarded, but be warned -- with so many entries, I had to be insanely picky, or else it would have taken even longer to judge. There's a lot of awesome shit that couldn't make the cut. Also, there's probably some awesome stuff I missed, again, because 2100 entries, dammit. With that caveat, let's start the Honorable Mentioning.

As I read through the Honorable Mentions, I didn't see my posting handle "ThePirateStar". Just as well, I thought. I had hoped to at least get a mention because I did try most of the weekend to bump up the comment count along with the rest of the TR Superfriends (as we are now called) from SOHB. There were probably about 1500 haikus to go through that had to do with 80s themselves, so picking winners was not an easy task. How could you choose 6 winners? What would you look for in a haiku that makes it stand out above the rest? With 2000 comments, there was likely to be repeats in themes. I went ahead and clicked onto the next page for more mentions and the winners. And that is when I saw it.

Before I get to the winners, I need to make some Special Mentions. There's absolutely no way that this contest would have gotten to 1,000 comments, let alone 2,000, without a group who have dubbed themselves the Topless Robot Superfriends. Again, these are people who had whole conversations entirely in haiku, padding out the comment count, but also exhorting other Topless Roboteers to reach this lofty, insane goal. These include DoctorSmashy, Scooter Atreides, Abraxas, Mostly Different, Jedisilk, Ttoplessnerd and ThePirateStar.

All of these guys already have shirts, with the exception of the lady trio of Jedisilk, Ttoplessnerd and ThePirateStar, who I'm now dubbing Rob's Angels (yes, I will have them performing bizarre missions for me in ludicrous outfits beginning next Monday). Additionally, Jedisilk and ThePirateStar did manage gems like these:

ThePirateStar said:
Powerglide my love
Taught me everything I know
Jedisilk said:
Look up! A Rainbow
Care Bear stomachs shot great light.
Such drugs were taken.

Care bears love children.
Care Bear Cousins love them too.
"Love" ran down their legs
...along with conversations like these.
ThePirateStar said:
We really are one
weird generation, wonder
how we'll run the world

Jedisilk replied to ThePirateStar:
We will run the world
like we run everything else:
from our computers.

ThePirateStar replied to Jedisilk:
There is so much truth
In that one haiku reply
I am enlightened
For their cleverness and shockingly hard work, I'm awarding them shirts. Unfortunately, Ttoplessnerd didn't manage to write any haiku about the subject matter, although she did post several hundred haiku in conversation. You guys can tell me whether you think that deserves a shirt or not.

Of course, I'm not just awarding shirts for effort or being sexxxy ladies. Besides those two, I'm awarding three more shirts (and if you think that I'm not playing fair, again, without Jedisilk and ThePirateStar, we probably wouldn't have gotten to 1,000 in the first place).

I had won a t-shirt! Not just for my 80 haiku attempts, but for helping out in the challenge! I was estatic. It was thrilling to know that our haiku conversations were recognized for the work and time we put into getting to the goal.

I requested a ladies cut in medium, because I wasn't sure how the sizes would run and I happen to be top heavy. An email came to notify it had been sent last week. And it finally came in!

The colour is much better than it shows in pictures. The logo is fantastic. The fit is well, very form fitting! When Jedisilk received her shirt, she mentioned that it was actually a Youth/Junior cut tshirt and not a ladies cut. My t-shirt is a little tight across the chest, but it is a great length. It is not a baby doll tee and therefore goes down to the hips. I can't wait to wear it out to my next geek social, s I will proudly wear my TR shirt. Maybe no one will understand what it means, but it might interest them in checking the website out.
Not a flattering picture, I know.

For the winners and Honourable Mentions of the '80s Cartoon Haikus, go here. Some are a little perverted, just to warn you!

1 comment:

  1. HAHAHAHAHAHA, congrats on your win darling!

    You look fab in the shirt!! Don't wash or dry it in hot, just to make sure you don't lose the length!

    Love it! =]